The Zapatista Autonomous Health System addressed a letter of protest to the Port Captaincy expressing their disagreement with the treatment of the fiddler spider bite, referred to in part eight: “another day after.”
First, they are unaware of the existence of the position of “Supreme Chief of Health Prevention, Vaccination, Wash your hands, Necropsies and Annexes, Death Certificates and others,” which does not exist in the organizational chart of the Zapatista health services. Nor is there any beetle registered in trainers and promoters of autonomous health. Having said the above, they point out that the anecdote referred by the captain (yo mero) of the attack suffered by a musical spider cannot be trusted. But, taking it for granted that the captain has his thoughts all scrambled in his head -and in the face of which they recommend an invasive operation on his brain (oh, oh, they offer to perform it)-, they insist that they are preparing for the day after.
For the peace of mind of those suffering from the diseases of art and science (so the letter says), they assure them that first aid courses are currently being given in all the Zapatista communities.
They detail that they will be able to provide initial care for spider, scorpion and viper bites; injuries from machete cuts, falls from horses, motor vehicles and trees; choking and drowning in rivers, ponds, puddles and glasses of water. They boast that, with their powerful mechanical and electric bicycles, they will be able to reach the place of the accident more quickly and administer first aid, while a vehicle arrives to transport the victim to the nearest clinic. From there, depending on the case, they would move on to the future laboratory and the desirable operating room – where the expected surgeons and lab techs will give courses, experiment with the fluids and organs of the patients, and stick a knife in with unique glee.
However, they declare that, when faced with a spider, the recommendation to “run for your life” is correct. To quit smoking, they naively insist, you don’t have to wait for the day after: you have to do it now. Ha.
To emphasize what has been said, they send some videos of excerpts from the courses.
That’s all.
From the waiting list to undergo lobotomy surgery.
The Captain, smoking his umpteenth pipe and promising that tomorrow he will quit smoking.
November 2024.
P.S.- I did get bitten by a fiddler spider. But the musical instrument does not appear and the promoters do not offer support for its search.
ANOTHER P.S.- Veronica and Chuy arrived with their chainsaws (cfr. “Comando Palomitas”). To operate on me, they said. I dissuaded them with chamoy popsicles, but I’m afraid they’ll come back. Nothing is safe anymore.